I Wish To Be Reborn

As I sit down, staring blank at my laptop screen, I seem to fall short of words. A feeling of emptiness envelops me...as if I had absolutely nothing useful going through my mind. As if there exists no traces of creativity or ideas that once flowed their way through the anxious yet excited rivers of my mind. I sit idly by...my fingers gently caressing the keys on my laptop, hoping them to just magically activate my fingertips that now feel so numb. Not because of work... but because there is no work. 

They long to be tired and dented and sweaty out of the endless hours of tapping, clicking and typing. They wait for that spark of enthusiasm that sets them in action, rapidly transforming words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into ideas that stand out from the rest. I struggle through the vacant spaces in my mind, as if I was at war with myself. Have I lost my charm? Is it not good enough? Or is this just a phase of 'limbo' that every one goes through? 

I just don't understand. To be criticized is one thing. It means your work is being closely followed and analysed by people. But to not be talked about is another thing. Its a feeling of non-existence. A different kind of invisibility, where they see you but they choose to ignore you.

Whatever it is you may call....it is a feeling that pinches you and taunts you within, every second. Its empties you and nothing attempts to cross those vacant mind spaces. I hope I get a new start. I pray to start anew... I wish to be reborn.